Who Will Hold Me Back?

by Rav Kook

​            Who will hold me back? Why do I not reveal in writing all of my fiery thoughts, all of the most hidden thoughts of my spirit?
            Who is it that prevents me, who imprisons my thought within its husk, and does not allow it to emerge into the air of the world?
            Who is it that chokes the phenomena of the spiritual life, and does not allow them to reveal themselves in all the beauty of the wealth of colors of their lights?
            My spiritual powers within me cry out in their great sorrow.
            They feel as though they are prisoners sitting in jail.
            And these impoverished prisoners complain that they are imprisoned without justice and without righteousness.
            They are correct, and honesty and justice are on their side. They speak of breaking out by force, of breaking down the walls of their imprisonment, of emerging into the freedom forever, of singing aloud their great, holy, joyful tune, filled with the power of life, a life of holiness and purity, a life of beauty, a life of the delight of all worlds, a life of the majesty of Hashem, in Whom they will delight with all good.
            Oh when, when will their redemption come? When, when, will I speak and write all that my heart feels?
            “I will speak and I will have comfort.” “My mouth will speak the praises of Hashem.”
            And the mouth will speak all that the heart thinks, and the pen will express all that is hidden in the depth of thought, and from darkness will emerge light, light, light, light, “Hashem is my Light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?” “Hashem is my light.” 
Chadarav, pp. 70-71